Parents stop interference

 

By Sabah Farsi.

Parents should not interfere in their kids plans for their future . Kids have the right to choose their  plans,  regarding their interests and capabilities  not what their fathers and mothers dreamt of them to be. They have to decide for themselves their own way .Only then they can bear the fruits of their choice.

 

Karam was only 16 when his father forced him to go to a technical high school , he hated that , he wanted to go to any other high school but his father push hard on him to go to that technical high school  . Karam could not make it , he failed ,it was his first time to fail. He was deeply hurt  so he failed again . He was in a great need for someone to help .

 

His family interference in choosing the way for him made him have lacking of self- esteem. He was not free to take his way. He thought he will never choose any thing right for himself not even his clothes or which color match with which he lost trust on himself . So he took the completely wrong way he took drugs .

 

Teens, age from 13 to 21, is just a phase but most of the parents  do not deal with it as so . Every kid has to undergo this phase and the more fathers and mothers take it simply the more it affects their kids for better results, including how they are doing in school; their future career goals; how well they communicate with their parents; whether they are in  a good relationship or not.

 

Teenagers must get the power of choice for themselves they must learn how to speak openly about their thoughts  feeling ,problems and desires without any fear of school or parents authority. Teenagers  are responsible for the choices they make,  and that they owe it to themselves to choose the best.

 

Parents` interference in kids` business in choosing their friends ,sports or entertainment makes them suffer . They get the feeling that they are not free to choose the career they may think it fits them they may feel that their fathers or mothers do not appreciate their abilities or they want much more of what they can really do.

 

Nowadays ,certain tests are given to help individual to find their goals in much easier ways .OPQ (Occupational Personality Questionnaire ) ,it tells you more about yourself . This kind of test could be given to kids in their first high school or even after being graduated. The OPQ helps you make better decisions as part of a standardized selection process. Specialized in this field guaranty  that this test helps people who do not really know which way to choose a lot . It deals with persons` ability of relationships with people , thinking style , feelings and emotions .

 

Young men have something to say about that . Tarek,21, studying marketing thinks that  parents can advise their kids about their study but they should  not give it as an order  "After the first year in the high school ,they should not ask about your friends  they can’t just tell me not to talk to this one or that one I’ll go with that friend without letting them knowing that . The worst question that parents can ever ask, is that who are you talking to on the phone" he said . For Tarek the more trust parents can give the more good behavior will come out .

Sana`a , 18, graduated from I.B. diploma program from the continental school  , gives such a mature opinion about this issue “I believe that parents play a crucial role in the development of a teen. When we feel that they're not giving us space, we misjudge them, as they always want the best for us. They try and guide us along the right path, and help us from straying away. And we, teenagers have nothing better to do but complain. Parents can never have anything against us, and if they do question us or keep an eye on us, it is for our own good but I think many of us would only understand when we have our own kids who would rebel against our wishes. Then, they will be saying that we don’t give them enough space. So its simply a matter of trying to understand ourselves better’’

 

 Just finishing high school ,Moutaz ,19, said” my parents never talk to me about my clothes , friends or the style I cut my hair “ He thinks he really needs their opinion ,”they have more experiences than me but they should not reinforce their points of views.”

 

A mother for four kids, Najwa said  “ I used to tell my kids about what they should do or what they should not  when they were little children but now they are grown up I do not like to bother them all the time I trust their choice and I hope they will never let me down”

 

The principle for  Al-Faisal Institute , a commercial  high school,  Mohammed Abbas Shatta who was a teacher ,being a father ;thinks that fathers want a better future for their own children in their practical and academic  studies .  Parents have a longer experience in life than their kids .

 

But even then they should keep in mind their kids `desires , abilities and ambitions. 'Compulsory'  choices are not acceptable from the kids ; parents should rather start useful 'chatting' with their children . 'Directing' play a great role, but it should come through advise.

 

For Leila Mira , a supervisor  for directing students in the ministry of education , specialized in social work, and she is a mother ,too, interfering in kids `business does not begin all of the sudden at any age . '' Indirect interfering is the best .It starts right from the early childhood ,giving children freedom  and trust to choose their way ''.  She believes that teens pass through a tough time ,and one can help them by giving support and help ,make them aware of the results of their choices but never ever take away their rights to take up a special field to study or a career they may  like to apply  because if parents force them to take any thing they do not like , it can definitely lead to a failure in most cases .''Parents know their kids` abilities or dislikes and they can work on that to push them to succeed'' She said .In any way they are the closest to their kids . Kids can consult their parents and for sure they will always be there for help.

 

 From the point of view for Islam ,Parents should teach their Kids Islamic culture and history. The child should also know the norms within a Muslim community and the way social activities (gatherings, sports, hobbies, etc.) are per formed according to the Islamic Shari'ah. Parents should encourage -even insist- that the child chooses his friends from the company of well-behaved Muslim children.

 

Kids are " life's most Precious gifts, full of  Promise and Wonder as they grow and become the Future "  So take care of yours; they are the FUTURE